Self-love isn’t always easy for me. I was a heroin addict for six years and committed awful acts against people who cared about me. I haven’t used in over 13 years, but it took a long time to forgive myself for how I hurt my loved ones, to accept the mistakes I made, to even be able to look in the mirror. That was an ugly time.
I hated myself.
Even after I had overcome the addiction and regained the trust of my family and friends, the journey of accepting and forgiving myself continued.
When Tara announced she was hiring brand ambassadors for her boudoir photography company, I wanted to do it. I toyed with the idea of applying for weeks. I just didn’t think I was pretty enough. AND, I was scared to try something new. As a recovering addict, I depend upon routine. I like things in which I’m in control because I once had none. I almost talked myself out of it. However, I’m always trying to inspire others to get out of their comfort zones in order to grow and this was a chance for me to do the same. So, I hurriedly completed and mailed the application. I honestly didn’t think she would choose me, but I had at least forced myself to try.
Through these sessions with Tara, I’ve managed to see myself in a different light. She empowers me to be brave and bold and confident! She helps me nail the poses and explore myself deeper to discover I am actually quite capable of much more than I knew. The community she has developed is important and supportive as well. Through her lens, I see more of me. I am strong, sexy, beautiful, and worthy of love. Where I use to hide in the shadows, I now long to be seen.