Boudoir. It is a taboo subject.
I’ll be honest, when I first made the decision to become an ambassador, I was So. Freaking. Stoked.
I was excited! I was honored to be a vital member of the incredible community Tara has formed.
As the weeks went on, I began talking about it with friends and family. The responses I received weren’t what I had expected. I was told that I was “basically doing porn,” I was at risk for being fired, and that I was disrespecting myself. I was so incredibly disappointed.
I thought the people saying these things were my friends! I went home and I cried all night. I contemplated on backing out of being an ambassador, afraid of the harsh judgment from my peers and coworkers.
I can’t tell you how I happy I am that I decided to go through with it. The experience was unlike any other.
When the day came for my first shoot, I had a ton of mixed emotions, I was nervous and excited. My best friend came over to help me get ready and she calmed my nerves. I won’t ever forget that day – jamming to music, my bestie making me feel beautiful…ah. All the good vibes.
Due to COVID-19, we had limited time to make all this magic happen. Tara and her assistant were extremely positive and efficient, regardless of the uncommon situation. While it was a short shoot, it sure was sweet. Throughout the session Tara would be sure to pop up and say, “You’re doing really great, by the way!” I felt so beautiful.
After I got saw the images for the first time, my jaw immediately dropped. Confidence overflowed my body. Who is she?! I loved seeing my raw, true, authentic self through these pictures. Throughout my whole life I’ve struggled with my body and sexuality. My body has been through 25+ surgeries, a complicated childbirth, anxiety, grief and depression. Seeing myself through the lens made me overwhelmed, I was so proud to look at the woman in these images.
You should be proud of your body too. This session was a HUGE confidence booster for me. I can look back and remember this day – I have felt so confident and beautiful since. I hold my head up a little higher now. And it’s all thanks to Tara and this community of women. In fact, one of the best things that came out of being an ambassador is that that strangers now recognize me in public. People notice. I get stopped and they’ll say “I saw you on Tara’s page!” I blush, but I feel proud. Now whenever I get a chance, I tell everyone I know to book a session. It’s an incredible feeling to find yourself again.
“And I said to my body, softly ‘I want to be your friend.” It took a long breath and replied, ‘I have been waiting my whole life for this.”